Monday, March 7, 2011

I'd Like to Know Victoria's Secret.

I've always thought lingerie seems like a fun concept. It's been a really long time since I've come in contact with any which is one of the perks AND downfalls of being single for a VERY long time. (Perk: Saving a lot of money. Downfall: Slowly dying alone.)

I like lingerie, even though I don't really understand it. It makes sense in movies but I just don't understand how it works unless you are jumping out of a cake or wearing it before the recipient arrives at your destination. But if you and the person you are wearing it for are in the same place do you go to the bathroom to change? I guess it would be stupid to put it on in front of them. And are you supposed to wear high heels? So you come out of the bathroom all of a sudden in lingerie and heels and then you wear it for like 10 minutes or so? All of the logistics confuse me. I remember giving a friend of mine advice on this subject a few years ago when I knew things, but now I'm rusty and confused.

Anyway... I'm currently in the market for some lingerie (for reasons I'm not at liberty to discuss,) so I decided to make a trip to Victoria's Secret today. It was highly unsuccessful. I felt like I was 12 years old, shopping for my first bra.

First of all, they don't have as big of a selection as one would think unless you are a bride-to-be. I learned that the hard way. I saw the big section of white, lacy, pretty, girly white lingerie and thought "Spring!" "This seems like a good color for my skin tone." It would be... If the tags didn't say "I Do" on them. Good thing the sales girl in the dressing room asked me when the big day was. That was a lot of fun.

Also, the lighting in the dressing rooms is enough to give somebody an eating disorder.

In the future I will probably order from the catalogue so I can try it on in the privacy of my own home and skip the part where I try to hang myself with a garter.