A psychic once told me to pay attention to my dreams because "they are messages." She also eluded to the fact that I was going to be a single mother, which made me a little depressed since I grew up without a father figure.
I have always wondered if other people have dreams as weird and vivid as I do. Those particular dreams are precisely the reason why I developed a crazy/obsessive/stalkerish crush on Drake. Yes, I liked his music to begin with. Yes, I thought he was cute. Yes, I liked the fact that he is Jewish. But it wasn't until I started having ridiculously realistic recurring dreams that we were in a serious relationship that I began my mission to bear his Blewish babies. I would literally wake up with an aching in my heart when I realized it was just a dream. Therefore, I blame the intensity of my dreams for getting me into this mess. (In retrospect, both of the things the psychic told me seem to go hand-in-hand... Single mother, rapper.)
A couple of days ago I had a lesbian dream about one of my girl crushes, Blake Lively. I honestly don't remember the full details, but I kind of wish I did. I could do a lot worse if I were a lesbian. Both in dream world and in the real world. I woke up wondering for a split second if I was bisexual. Then I visualized a vagina in front of my face and realized my own vagina is about all I can handle. Don't get me wrong, I could totally get on board with being a lesbian from the waist up, but it's taken me 29 years to master taking care of one vagina. Two is one too many, sorry Blake. (Although I'm willing to reconsider if Ryan Reynolds is part of the equation.)
In the meantime, I hope my dreams don't end up getting me a restraining order.
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